journey

Uncertainties

2007-03-04T06:27:00.000-08:00

How will you know if ts forever?

Does the length of time of being together guarantee it?

We all know that promises are not enough and it is inevitable to change.

It's scary. It's hurtful scary.

Don't you wish that all that you've gone through is enough. Enough to hold both of you together no matter the time, distance and people.

Maybe, all that you can do is hope and believe...

Pray, hope and believe...

Lord, please guide me and give me strength.

V day!

2007-02-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

who says you need money to enjoy special occasions?

nice dvd + oishi ridges + hershey's chocolate drink + that special someone = a great valentine's day!

*wink*

In response to my brother's entry

2007-01-30T23:50:00.000-08:00

I do not claim to be religious in any way BUT one thing is for certain I BELIEVE in GOD.

sige Ryan, ikaw naman ang magbasa ng blog ko.

I am a Catholic since birth and I am not ashame of it. Pero ngayon ay unti nti na kong napapalapit sa ibang relihiyon. Christian pa rin naman sabi ng kapatid ko. So anong debate dito? Sagrado Katoliko ang pamilya ko. At ayon sa kapatid ko, sabi ng kaibigan niya, being born in a family with no Catholic root is not a sin but changing religion from Catholism to another is. Hindi ko minamasama ang opinyong ito at alam kong nagmamalasakit lang siya sakin. Pero gusto ko lang ihayag naman ang sa akin. Ngayon ay alam kong malapit si Ryan kay Lord, with all the blessing poured on him there is no doubt his efforts and faith are being rewarded. Pano nga ba siya napalapit kay Lord? Dahil 'to sa mga kaibigan niyang inakay siya palapit Dito. Dahil ito sa mga karanasang pinagdaanan niya na nagpayabong sa kanyang pananampalataya NGUNIT higit sa lahat, ayon nga sa kanya, dahil ito sa mga kaibigan niya , sa mga hinostage niya.

So anong point ko?

While in deep search for what religion I should be in, my classmate in art studies2 (na by the way, i don't know who up to now) came to me out of nowhere and start talking about religion. In my shock, I was speechless. But since I have given the opportunity to talk and ask someone, I asked her, "Pano mo ba malalaman kung saang religion ka dapat mapabilang?" and she said, " Alam mo, ang espirituwal na paglago ng tao ay parang buto ng prutas, kelangan mong piliin kung saan yung lugar kung saan ka tutubo at yayabong dahil bawat isang buto ay may kanya kanyang lugar na tama para sa kanya."

Hindi alam ng kapatid ko kung anong mga bagay ang nagpalapit sa akin sa ibang relihiyon. Siguro ay iniisip niya na dahil lang ito sa kagustuhan kong maging pareho ang relihiyon namin ni Vincent. Mali siya dun. Dito lang sa lugar na ito nakalatag ang tamang lupang aalalay upang maging isang ganap na puno ang aking espiritual na paniniwala. Andito lang ang mga taong hinostage ko.

Nirerespeto ko ang simbahang Katoliko. Mahal ko rin ito. Sabi mo nga ito ang simbahang tinatag ni Kristo. Ngunit naniniwala rin ako na ang relihiyon ay daan lang na may suportang rehas sa mga gilid nito upang magsilbing daan papunta kay God na aalalay sayo. Hindi ako naniniwala na ang daan papuntang langit ay iisa lamang. Naniniwala ako na may karapatan tayong piliin ang rehas na susuporta sa atin basta alam lang natin kung saan natin gusto pumunta. Maari pa ngang hindi ka kumapit sa rehas sa pagtahak ng daang ito subalit paniguradong magiging mahirap ang paglalaakbay para sayo. Masakit na sabihing kasalanan ang paghanap ng mas epektibong daan para makarating sa pinakaaasam mong hantungan. Hindi ba mas kasalanan ang pabayaan mong maging stagnant ang faith mo dahil napaka stubborn mo at pinagpipilitan mong dito mo lang gustong dumaan sa daang ito? I can not say that I did not try my best in the Catholic church .I am a YFC member and I sang for our church choir and I religiously go to mass every Sunday. But I did not feel the burn in my heart that I am so longing for the past years. I did not felt that I wanted to improve spiritually, not until I experienced attending VCF. You're lucky that you have your Catholic friends lifting you up to Christ, and I am lucky I have my friends doing the same for me.

As long as we are doing the right things for the Lord I am sure to see you in heaven. Sana lang hindi sinners ang tingin niyo/mo sa mga taong gusto lang mapalapit sa Diyos ngunit iba lang ang daang pinili. GOD is good and good things happen not only to Catholic people but to Born Again and Muslims as well. Indicating only that God loves us all and will save us all if we only do things in His name.

patience is a virtue

2006-08-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

...this is what i've learned from church today. it's the fourth fruit from the 'fruit of God' series. the preaching made me realize a lot of things. it felt like the whole session was dedicated to me. every statement strucked me bulls eye. although, of course, it was meant for every body.

you should practice patience on three things:

1. on your existing problems
2. on your relationship with others
3. on obtaining the promise of God

true enough, right after the church my patience was tested. i almost snapped! grrr! hehe. i'm glad and thankful vincent was there to guide me and to remind me about patience. well, he had been practicing his patience with me for a long time now and that makes him a master of patience, i guess.:)

part of a text i recieved 7 hours ago..

...let's be more patient. with everything.:)

i sure hope i won't fail him and Him.

for you...

2006-03-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

hay. dumating na ba ever sa life niyo na parang ayaw niyong magbukas? na gusto mong magskip ng dalawang araw?

na parang isipin mo pa lang sumisikip na yung puso mo tas di ka makahinga tas mejo nasusuka ka pa?

na ipinagsisigawan mo na na 'hello?! nasaksaktan ako!!!', pero parang di niya narinig? tuloy pa rin dahil alam niyang wala namang masama sa gagawin niya, un nga lang masasaktan ako.

na gusto mong iexplain kung bat ka nasasaktan pero wala namang words na appropriate kasi sobrang blur emotions lang siya tas pag itry mong iexplain magmumukang ikaw ang may kasalanan?

hay. tinanong niya ko kung ganon ba daw ka-big deal at kasama ang pangyayari. pano ko naman sasabihin na hindi masama, pero big deal ito sakin dahil 99.9% nang puso ang kasalukuyang nadudurog.

yun. i just want to let this feelings out. just want to write it.

don't worry, i know that this too shall pass. at di naman siya talaga ganon ka-big deal.

but still 99.9% of my heart is aching right now. at alam kong ginawa niya ang 100% para di ako masaktan, and i super appreciate that, pero ganon talaga e. maybe, feelings just know no reason.

*kung wala kayong naintindihan. pasensya...

coffee shops

2006-03-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

when i first heard about starbucks, i was not really a big fan of it. i always thought of coffee shops as just a lavish place to drink coffee which the inflation of prices i can't understand.imagine figaro's 12 oz iced mocha causing 85 pesos compared to french baker's 33 pesos.

it was not until i had this experience and i have to be alone to do some thinking that i decided to try starbucks. surprisingly, the ambiance made a big difference in consoling me during the time. i felt comfortable not to mention i loved the frappe. from that time on, i welcomed the idea of spending time on coffee shops. me and my orgmates stay til wee hours to study at seattle's katips. we schedule our girl's night outs every friday and talk non-stop at coffee experience. and the most recent, having a friendly open forum at figaro.

sure, my wallet hurts everytime i indulge myself in frosts and frappes but the precious bonding moments i experience is really priceless.

*pero syempre 'pag naitayo na ang nocturnal leisure learning sa commonwealth, goodbye na sa mga coffee shops na ito.;p*

Welcome Back To ME !

2006-03-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

After what seems like a hundred years of ignoring my blog, i finally decided to visit and write.

A lot of things worth writing happened but i'd rather cherish it for personal consumption only.:)

But this one, i can't not write about and shout to the world..

CONGRATULATIONS to VINCENT JO and his thesis mates ( Mark and Ramil ) for winning first runner - up in their 'Nocturnal Learning Leisure Environment' !!!

I can not be any prouder!

Hugs and kisses guys!

job - a - fair

2005-10-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

last tuesday and wednesday, i worked with ros for one of the events conducted by their office. it was the launching of shell's 'quality and quantity' van in southern luzon. therefore, we were at southern luzon. in mamplasan, laguna. it was such an experience. una, kasi siyempre kasama ko si ros. pangalawa, it was my first time to work for a company. hindi pa naman kasi ako nag-o-ojt kasi tinatamad pa ko. at di naman required samin. anyways, kahit salingpusa lang ako dun, i really felt the working environment kahit na sobrang dami naming pahinga. tapos yung shell pa has many venues for my course. it made me think tuloy of my plans in the future. kahit wala pa talaga akong definite plan kung anong gagawin ko in the future, nakatulong ng malaki ang experience na yun for me to at least make a skeleton plan for my future- sa work.

siguro, this summer mag-o-ojt ako. i don't know exactly what fulfillment i will get kasi naman ang nega ng mga kwento ng orgmates ko about ojt's. well, siguro kasi hindi lang equally compensated yung efforts nila pero ganun talaga yun e. you have to start with nothing para maabot mo yung gusto mong maabot sa buhay, kaya tiyaga talaga ang kailangan.

lets see... sa alcatel, nagbibigay sila ng libreng cellphone. sa magnolia, libre ang chuckie! hmmm... pwede na siguro ang mga freebies na yan. i'm after the experience naman e. :P

thankful

2005-10-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

i remember, my first post was about a closed door and me waiting for a window to open.

it's really amazing how God works in our lives. during those times, i was really depressed 'coz it seems that everything is just falling apart. seems like all roads lead to a dead end and i am trapped in that miserable situation. i just wanted to stop breathing there and then. fortunately for me, God took my hand and carried me to the other side of the fence. He was not with me physically but He gave me my angels- my support group who stick with me all throughout the whole crappy situation. they made me feel loved. they were there to assure me that everything is gonna be fine. that life is not about one failure but about the number of times you tried and finally succeeded. that they love me no matter what. and that most importantly God loves me no matter what. and that it is what life is about. life is about investing something for the after life and not for our temporary stay here on earth.

now, i am slowly moving on from that place where i stumbled. i am now recognizing my mistakes and trying my best not to do them again. but if it were not for those people, i don't know where i will be this time of the day. maybe in that very same spot, lying and not moving- not even wanting to move.

thank YOU for always accepting me even if You are the One i neglect most often.

thank you to my sibs, they always brighten up my day. for all the encouragements and support. for keeping all my secrets from mama and papa. hehe. you guys are the best sibs ever!

thank you to my mama and papa for always being there. for always understanding. and for not not stopping to love me. for always wanting the best for me and trying hard to give them for no conditions at all.

thank you to my friends for just doing what friends do. thanks to the avo peeps for being the people i've become attached and comfortable with. thanks to my berks( julie-dash-ann, nix, belipops, vids, milibee, picachu, cy, ian, bert, j)for all the texts and free foods you gave me just to make me smile. for all the laughters, crazy talks we've shared. ivz and rox for the tootoot talks-tapunan ng coke-elem-up-to-now- memories and bonding times. thanks to my puerto buddies(ros,ben,mon,jen)for all the goofy stuffs, leche plan, badminton games, UP-outside UP lunches, mga luto ni ros, baileys, baked tahong ni momon, and more fun things that we shared.

thank you to vincent for always being there. always. for just walking with me and not saying anything 'coz you know that it is what i want and need. for always trying to make me smile no matter how ridiculous you look and no matter how many times you fail. for making me look forward to tomorrow. for being my spiritual adviser- patiently guiding me. for sharing your wise thoughts with me. for teaching me how to value life the way it should be.

it is really at your lowest and toughest time that you will be able to know and appreciate those people that love you. maybe that is why God is putting us in trials, to make us appreciate life even better.

* i wish everybody happiness*

sneak preview

2005-10-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

yey! my personalized blog template is almost complete. we just have to make some few adjustments and uploading of pictures. yes. it's we that is working on my template. my ever so handsome brother (this is a form of thank you to him. hehe. para tipid. :P ) is doing the technical stuff, you know, the complicated html things which i have little knowledge of ( thanks to ma'm tolentino), while, i'm in charge of the design proper. well, as expected may pagka-kikay talaga sha. :)

i really am excited! maybe next week i can finally change this template. can't wait!

through the years

2005-10-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

---*

i got d chance to talk to oscar in ym last night. we talked about some things but what got stuck in my mind is when he asked me ' how long are 'we' together' na. sila daw kasi 4++ years na. i know a lot of couples who are together for a long time already. most of my friends are in a long relationship.

but is it really an advantage?

sabi kasi nung iba when the relationship reached seven years and the couple are not yet married, chances are they will not end up together. that is so sad. i don't want to believe that because i'm the 'happy ending' kind of person.

but i guess it all depends on the couple.

---*

all rolled in one post

2005-10-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

---*
i was suppose to update last monday. i came up with a beautiful article but as soon as i pushed the 'publish post' button. poof! our phone line was out. apparently, there was something wrong with bayantel's system. i was heartbroken. it went on for 2 days.

---*

he had his delibs last tuesday. it went well. of course. but i have to admit i was kinda sad because i was not able to watch him. anyway, i helped him buy his shoes. we went shopping last sunday. that was my contribution to his thesis. i don't really have much to say when it comes to architectural stuff. but i managed to get him some data from engineering students and i accompanied him to libis for thesis observation (i like to think he was able to observe :P). im proud of you ***!

---*

i am also proud of my bestfriend and my 3rd year chem lab partner. belated happy 4th! im so blessed to have known you two. kisses!

---*

one last thing. i don't like the idea of friendster putting the 'who viewed me' link. i now have no power to stalk! my brother shares the same sentiments with me. hehe.. family of stalkers...:P

blah blah blah

2005-09-25T04:24:00.000-07:00

ok. i've been online everyday this month. so why is my last post dated 'september 6'?

i don't now either. i've been spending hours thinking of what to write, but i just can't seem to sort out the things i want to share and just keep to myself. ros and i maybe one of the 'most talkative' avo girls but we are also 'private to the max'. which also explains [ i guess] why we started blogging late. im trying to take ros' advice to try to keep my entries as objective as possible and not make this blog my 'diary' of some sort. but as private as i am, im also very personal. kaya ayan, so far lahat ng entries ko parang pang-diary!

anyway, i really don't mind sharing my 'crazy-full-of-surprises-topsy-turvy-happy-sad-exciting-so-far-missing-my-friends life' since i know that the people reading this are my beloved friends.

nagiinarte lang talaga ako sa taas para intriguing yung introduction. bleh!

-*-

three more exams, one term paper, and an sts presentation and my sem is over!

-*-

nothing much is really taking toll in my life nowadays. im just spending my days trying really really hard to study and focus. im counting the days till vincent and sara's thesis deliberation is over [and im praying hard for them] so we can see each other and crash at rosana's place. pwede ba ros? hehe.

-*-

sana may lakad ang avo this sem break. calling the 'avo parties' organizers'!

-*-

special mention kay sabon: SAB!

-*-

belated happy birthday my beloved benedict! love you! mwah! ; *

joke

2005-09-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

after a hearty meal at chef donatello, we passed by the movie house

out of nowhere...

*v: anong dapat natin dalhin pag nanood tayo ng 'red eye'?

*r: pera shempre di ba?pagkain? (suspecting something 'tragic' will happen) :P

*v: no.... (looks at me)

*r: ano?

*v: ano pa? e d visine!

*moment of silence*

*i started giggling-after it sank in my ever so slow mindeeee*

...dis was his worst joke ever! but what can i say?.. he still is the only one who knows how to make
me smile- my heart smile...

template changedcongratulations*

2005-09-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

since my template is way outdated,napagdesisyunan ko nang palitan ito.

dandadarandan...

my new template! :p

hahahahahaha! as if pinaghirapan no?!
o well, since hindi ko makulit yung mga kapatid ko na gawan ako ng 'design' na babagay sakin eto na lang muna...

--------------*

just want to congratulate my bro-joseph 'otep-otep' - for winning 2nd place in 'feature writing' competition (Journalism Presscon held last tuesday representing philsci). :)

goodluck sa division compet!

---------------*

i WaNnA sInG aNd SwIm

2005-04-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

summer class starts on monday. and yet! i havent got d chance to enjoy with friends. hay. i wanna sing again. as in ung my audience! haha! i miss my singing days. hehe.

LSS: love moves in mysterious ways
its always so surprising when love appears
OVER THE HORIZON...

i wanna swim! ang hirap magplan. sana matuloy na kami... hay...

a door closed

2005-04-13T02:11:00.000-07:00

...yesterday...

was perfect. i went to school to see my BA 115 grade and it was unexpectedly ok. i was really expecting the worse. then. i went to sm fairview to meet with vincent. kumain kami sa chicken bacolod, our fave. tapos pumunta kami sa house niya. he showed me his soon-to-be room. nirenovate kasi ung house nila so lilipat siya dun sa bagong room. his mom and dad was there and so was hanna, ung little sis niya. wala lang. nagkwentuhan kami. kwento lang pero masaya. bait nung parents niya e. sandali lang kami dun tapos hinatid niya na ko sa house. nasalubong namin yung aso kong askal. hehe. pakawala yun pero mabait. tapos dapat manonood kami ng ipo sa house pero brownout. so lumabas kami. sinalubong pala kami ng mga kapatid ko. vibes na sila. tas dumating tatay ko tas nanay ko at pinilit nilang uminom ng coke si vin kahit ayaw niya. niyaya siyang mag-eat-all-you-can sa grad ng kapatid ko. tas pagkabigay niya ng chocolate na pinapabigay ng mom niya sa mom ko umuwi na siya. la lang. it was perfect kasi we get to visit each others house and meet the parents. hehe. kahit ayaw pa nila kaming maging kami, it was nice na pinapakita nilang ok lang na we are together.

... today...

a door closed for me. d ko pa din tanggap ng buo pero sabi nga ni vincent baka...

... tomorrow ...

a window will open. i just have to wait...